To lie or not to lie…that is the question

I thought this was going a straight forward answer. Well of course you should never lie and tell the truth. And then I started thinking and the crisp clear line started bluring.

I have a feeling that I might come back to this blog regularly to change it because it is not actually a straight forward answer but here are my thoughts on this subject, today.

The Pinocchio effect

Who does not know the story of Pinocchio whose nose keep on growing with each lies.

Well obviously this does not happen in real life but your body does react to lying that is why it is possible to detect lies with a machine.

Your heart rate race, you palm sweat are some examples that are common when you lie.

The Pinocchio syndrome is actually a real condition when the person cannot stop lying and making up stories.

It is not completely intentional and can definitely disrupt that person’s life, similar to a kleptomania that cannot stop stealing and very often does not realise that it picks up the object.

There are physical evidence of lying and some people might get red chick, and have a different behaviours.

That is also where knowing those specific mimic that are triggered when you lie can be a good thing to then control those are much as possible. An obvious tic which we can see below is playing with your ring!!!

A good example of people who are trying to understand their own habit and others habits are gamblers. There is a reason why the expression “To have a good or bad poker face”.

There is a K drama actually which has made up the Pinocchio syndrome as the opposite and that person cannot lie without hiccupping and can die if they do not tell the truth as the hiccup will not stop and the bigger the lie the worse the condition. Funny enough that person cannot even lie to herself…I thought it was an interesting take on that syndrome and did make an entertaining series.

The debated lies…that we tell our children

Yes I am going there….Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny….is it acceptable to tell lies to our children.

Who does not think that it is great to see your toddler looking at the sky trying to get a glimpse of Santa’s sleight? Come on, we all love it. But it is a lie, we are as adults agreeing among the millions of us to lie to our children for their benefits.

We want to give them the magic while they are gullible enough to believe it because let’s face it that belief disappear pretty quick and now even quicker because of the social media being available earlier and earlier to those children.

And what do they do in return….they lie to us back that they still believe for more years than they do because?

They want to have the presents keep coming, they want to see the look on our face when they challenge us and we start making us crazy stories that makes no sense and dig our own hole deeper and deeper with each explanation we are trying to give our children on the big fat lie we made up.

But then if they lie, we give out to them saying that lying is not acceptable…say what! Parents who started the bigger lie of all time!

How can our children take us seriously but how can we actually stop? Anyway this is a different debate that I am not taking now, right now I am only pointing out that lying is not acceptable but well if it is for the good of society then it is fine!

White lies

Moving on without transition from the biggest agreed lie of all time to while lies.

So what are white lies: Once again those are considered as acceptable small lies, they need to be trivial and not harmful tiny lies that help society to be gentler with its members.

They are considered better than telling truth that could be hurtful.

Let me think what are good examples….does that trouser makes my bum look big?

The white lie is “NO you look fantastic” the truth that cannot be told “No the trousers do not make you look fat, the fact that you are fat makes that anything you wear shows that you are fat!” and the latest is not acceptable except if you are Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory.

Let’s face it we all want to be Sheldon very often but society is teaching us that we need cannot tell truth without filters once we are more than 5 years old.

Parents will correct children if they say “insensitive” remarks saying that you cannot say those and you better sugar coat comments, or say nothing or use white lies.

So far we agree to lie as a society for a good few items….but lying is not good…confused yet?

Lies…lies

So what are lies, they are facts that do not reflect the true event, fabrication…anyway it does not reflect the truth.

OK I will again challenge what is the truth as we know that when there are 5 witnesses to an accident, they will all say something different, are they all liars or is it possible that they are all telling their truth.

So just that is a challenge, the brain records incorrectly anything that we see and our personality, our experience…will change the truth that we are telling.

So are those actually lies or truth for that person?

Now let’s move on to real lies.

A true lie is when the person know the truth but decide to tell a fabrication for covering the truth.

Obviously a murderer would lie to the end and never admit of committing the murder. The fact is that person committed the crime but will cover the fact with lies..

There is a reason for the lie, someone will not lie for no reason (except Pinocchio syndrome already covered) but here we are talking on purpose lie.

So the person want to cover an act because it is illegal, unfair in their view, any how something they are kind of ashamed of.

Issue with the lies….

I do not believe there is only one lie, there are always a multiple of lies. Once you start lying you cannot stop at risk of being discovered. Don’t get me wrong it has to be challenging to remember all those lies as it is not true you need to actively remember what you have said compared to actually using your memories.

Also most lies are so obvious you wonder why those lies are not confronted immediately.

There is that blind eye to lies when you want to keep it easy, you know the truth within the lie but you are in denial or not ready to confront the reason behind the lie.

A married person will ignore the lies just that much longer in case the lie disappears….that person will lie to themselves in view of the other one’s lies.

Ouah is that not insane when you think about it.

The truth hurt more than the lies in this case? Or do we torture ourselves imagining all the different reasons behind the lie?

Truth to be told….

So now let’s be true to ourselves.

But can we be truthful with other people? As mentioned earlier telling the truth and nothing but the truth can cause pain to the other person. Are all truth worth telling?

Is it fine to be rash and just say anything that comes to mind?

Is oversharing an issue now days? When you take social media sometimes people go overboard and share every moment of their lives.

But also what is shared is very often a lie, people are showing a perfect picture of their holidays, weekend, dinner time but behind the scene it is very often different.

So are truth lies and lies truth?

I thought this was easy you should tell the truth and lies are bad but in the end you need to use your judgement.

Still I will cross the line at lying to cover a bad act for sure and people should take ownership of their actions,.

Last but not least, what about omission, is this a lie?

Food for thoughts my friends, I find hard to find a clear answer on this one…..

I guess you need to think with your heart, your head and your conscience when it comes to answer people and provide information thinking hard in each situation!