Parenting - Dressing and feeding your child!
Life is amazing and kids are amazing.
I do find even more amazing the love you experience the first time you hold your baby.
The strength your brain has to just erase what ever that child has put you through the night or day before.
I need to process, understand, forgive and move on each time I have a fight with everyone, except my kids.
There seem to be a reset button every single morning when it comes to my 2 legged darlings
The previous evening could have been tears, screaming, heart break, frustration, when morning comes all is forgiven and we are now on for a good day…
until they start pressing your buttons once again.
Where to start?
Should we look at age related actions that are not completely in their control but will still drive us insane, especially when you are a first-time parent.
Getting your child dressed.
I remember fighting with my oldest child for hour to get her dressed.
She was about 1 year and a half at the time and until then there was no problem getting her dressed.
One day, as usual we were up at around 8am, and normally we would be out of the door by around 8h45.
That day felt like I had a completely different child.
I put her socks on, turn around to grab the trousers and when turning back, the socks would be off.
I would then put the trousers on and the socks on and again when getting the T-shirt, the first 2 items were removed.
At first, I thought it was funny enough and started putting the items of closing back but then she started really getting frustrated.
She would walk away and remove the clothes and throwing them away.
It was a battle that lasted for over an hour and at 9h30 we were both in tears.
I was late for work; I could not understand what was happening and I did not want to hurt her by putting the clothes back on over and over and getting frustrated myself.
She was in tears, running away and throwing the clothes all over the place.
Eventually, I had to take a breather, and put her bedroom while I rang her dad to explain what was happening.
Obviously, I felt I was failing her as a mother, I could not understand that new behaviour and this was shaking my motherly aptitude.
I am lucky to have such a support, I do know that not all parents have the support of a second parent.
Now, when I stopped crying and had a good breathing exercise, I reluctantly entered the bedroom to find my baby, dressed and trying to put her shoes on by herself!
I did not know if I should cry or laugh.
Off we went to work and the following day, the same situation started again, but this time, I took a step back.
I started taking 2 items of clothing at the same time and show them to her.
She was smiling and started picking one of them and putting them on the best she could.
The odd time, she would get stuck, and I would then help her slightly and from that moment, the mornings were back being peaceful again when it came to getting dressed anyway!
When my second child, arrived around the same age, the same situation happened but this time I recognised immediately, and this allowed to by-pass that difficult phase.
And this is where, the experience shows.
Another example still in relation to clothes.
Kids love to leave the house in winter with sandals or no coats or no gloved, no hats…the list can go on and on.
Again, with my first child, I did not understand, and it would be a fight to make sure that they were covered up properly for the weather, it would be tears and frustration on both sides.
Sharing that information with my particularly good friends who were also mums, they just told me not to worry about it as the child need to realise that they need the coat or the gloves.
So I tried, with my heart in my stomach thinking that she would get a cold the moment she is out for 5 minutes without a cold.
This was one of the best advice possible, the fights were less and, in the end, I was getting my way most of the times.
I remember, a specific snowing day and my 2 years old leaving the house in her open toes’ sandals, me with the boots under my arm. After, passing 2 houses, she stopped and looked at me, saying that her toes were cold! I showed her the boots and socks, and she gave me the best of smiles.
Does it drive me insane, even now when they decide not to take a coat when I would want them to have one! Of course, it does but it is important for those little ones to make their own experience and to understand how weather works.
For the fun of it, I had the complete opposite when a bright summer morning, my youngest decided to dress with scarf, gloves, hat, and winter coat.
Because they need to be consistent in their life experience.
Feeding your child!
Food a different challenge altogether.
Babies just try everything; they will pretty eat everything.
The main danger is to turn your back for a minute and for them to pour their food all over themselves or share with the dog or just the floor, because …why not
But eventually, they decide that they love broccoli, and they will eat broccoli at each dinner.
2 days later, they do not like broccoli anymore but want carrots.
2 days later, they do not like carrots anymore, but they want potatoes.
2 days later, they are back at loving broccoli but no more potatoes and this goes on and on.
It does work on your patience, and this is so difficult for meal preparation.
Once again, you sometimes feel like you are a bad parent because you want them to have healthy and divert meals.
You end up with 2 choices, you try one meal and they do not want it and you give them another meal – the danger with that option is that you become a personal chef for your temperamental child.
The second option is to be tough and what you prepared is what the child will eat, and you fear that your child will die of starvation…as if this would happen!
I was option one, my partner was option 2 and you know what, it does not matter, it is all about what works for your personality.
So do not beat yourself up on which parent you are, you are doing the best with what you have.
Until the next time, wishing you all a wonderful week….
