Life experience -The double standard
What an interesting theory that is the double standard.
One thing that can be seen as an inappropriate behaviour by one person but is acceptable if done by another.
Dogs are definitely a perfect example.
When you walk casually in the park, and a tiny little dog start barking at passers by, even growling at people walking by, you get a reaction from the owner of a smile and a little giggle stating that “he is just a little feisty” and most people react with a smile and a little tilt of the head.
On the other hand, if the exact situation happens with a larger dog such as German shepherd or a Labrador even, then the reaction is definitely different.
People will swirl away from the dog and the owner will be given abuse.
The comments will fly, that the dog should be kept under control and even have a mussel as a danger to society.
Let me ask you now, what is the correct reaction in your opinion?
In my opinion, the incorrect reaction is people smiling at the little brat.
Yes, if the little thing attacks you, the damage will be much less than if a larger dog were to do the same thing but is it really right to allow different reactions to the same behaviour?
Even though society is starting to change slowly, a very similar situation can be acknowledged in boys vs girls attitude.
If a boy play rough, breaks toys and screams around like a lunatic, people will have a smile on their face and say “Boys will be boys”
If a girl play rough, breaks toys and screams around like a lunatic, people will stare and start mentioning how un-lady-like the attitude is, she should be careful of her clothes and belonging and act in a “more appropriate way”...like a Princess
I know in the end, there is a lot about culture in the attitude and a little about nature.
I can see it myself, my 2 girls are definitely not as disruptive during a party than 2 boys.
In a way there is a little of nature in the culture reaction and it is up to the parents and adults around the child to actually make sure that the same reaction is given to the same attitude.
Parents nowadays are much more into equality, it is completely expected now on to have the man of the house cooking, cleaning, changing nappies.
Away from the idea that the man works all day in the office and the woman is at home “resting” awaiting for his return to look after him.
It is hilarious actually, when cleaning my parents house I bumped into an old 1950’ housewife guide.
Apart from the outdated ideas on CPR and first aid which might come up in a future blog, the recommendation for being a good wife is now seen as so old fashion but this was accepted and expected.
Always get up earlier than your husband in order to prepare the coffee and get his breakfast ready
Get dress and make yourself presentable before your husband wake up
Make sure that the house is clean and tidy at all time, it would be unacceptable for a man to come home to a dirty house after having work so hard all day
Children should be quiet, and only talk to their father is talked to
The table should be ready with a homemade dinner
You should not mention any issues that could have happened during the day until your husband ask for such items
You should be ready to listen to all the stories your husband wants to share, but if he does not want to share, smile with grace…
Not joking this is from memory, reading those help guide a few years ago...yep got stuck in my brain
It was the norm, until women revolted and burned bras.
Let’s get back to our double standard with the opposite side towards crying
Crying boys are starting to be less taboo but you still hear now and then parents and adults say “boys don’t cry” when a little girl crying is perfectly acceptable, it can even be seen as a great weapon to master.
Moving on to more adult dilemma: Sugar daddy vs cougars
If a man of a certain age dates a younger woman not even an eyebrow will be lifted, it is a completely accepted mindset
But an older woman…. dating a younger man, that is straight away catalogued as pathetic and sad
It is actually very funny when you think about it as back a few centuries ago older women were all powerful especially in the Royal courts.
Older women were prayed on by much younger men in order to get favours from those women’s husbands!
There was a switch at some stage, the switch is happening again
Very powerful women such as Madonna are dating younger men very freely and openly, do people see it as pathetic and sad, maybe but the fact that it is happening more and more is opening a door to remove the taboo
Is in either of the situations mentioned above, the actual relationship pure of heart or interested...this is up to debate but in theory the fact that the older person is man or woman should not matter
Going further, older men now start dating younger men and do not feel the need to justify their feelings.
A perfect example is Stephen Fry who married a man 30 years younger than him. They are happy and that is all that matters but obviously people will always talk.
People talk mostly because they are jealous of a situation, in my opinion, jealous that someone has something better than what they have. In reality if you are satisfied with your life, other people's happiness should be accepted and you should be happy for them.
Anyhow, I am diverting from my topic….
There are obviously much worse things in the world
In some areas of the world girls do not have the same opportunities as boys to go to school.
Skin colour can still be a factor of decision making for school and work acceptance.
Those double standards though are not acceptable and should be dealt with by every single person in the world.
Without realising it, I use double standards all the time in my own relationships.
My oldest daughter is at a stage of her life where she spends most of her time in her bedroom or walking around the house with her headsets on, listening to music.
I am giving out to her on a regular basis, telling her to connect with us more, and that surely she has better things to do than listening to music all the time
While I was talking to my sister, I mentioned how annoying her attitude was and I did not know how to deal or accept that new behaviour
She had a laugh and then told me, still laughing; that I was such an hypocrite
She reminded me that at the same age, I would spend most of my time with my walkman on my head, that I was locked in my room all the time or was going out still with the walkman
It is amazing how when it suits us, we can see the problem but you cannot see that you actually do the exact same thing
So what does it all mean?
That it is human nature?!
Should we beat ourselves about that?
Or once we are aware of the fact that you are using double standards in some circumstances, you need to work towards acknowledging that you are
Recognise the pattern and stop making double standard because in the end,
Everyone has the power to make the world a better, every day and for the future.
Until the next time, wishing you all a wonderful week….
