The weight on our life…could actually be our weight….
I am entering a half century this year and with age comes more knowledge and more frustration.
Getting older has its advantages and obvious disadvantages.
This blog about my personal experience so far and cannot be a reflection on any one else experience but it can maybe help some people with their questions on life or help on reflections
The pressure to look good
Why do we feel that we need to look different than what we are?
If you talk to anyone, there are always something that bothers that person.
We will stick to physical items in this case as not to get distracted as mental health is complete different ball game.
This is not a new issue due to social media even though social media is amplifying the issue big time.
From the moment you are born people will start making comments.
What a cute baby, what an ugly baby, what a fat baby, what a skinny baby….physical feature start being mentioned from the moment we come out of the womb. It is a common item that parents count their new born fingers and toes without even realising it.
The pressure to look good is not just a social pressure but a personal pressure.
We just feel we are not good enough because we look at others and want to look like them not realising that others look at you and want to be like you.
It almost seems like you cannot just be happy with who you are and need to look at others to find what happiness should be.
Young children until about 4 years old do not really have that pressure, they are just happy and you can see it in the picture of true happiness in the smiles they give.
Then school start and a natural comparison happens.
The is the sunset of true happiness and hardship really start from there.
Beauty over the years
It is funny when you look at paintings, statues over the centuries and the evolution of beauty.
Let’s start with the women, for millennia women were not really showing up their body.
Women were meant to have children and sturdy, beauty was more about curve and being able to carry children.
Paintings show large thighs, belly fat and pretty large breasts.
Interesting enough, large mirrors were not available to everyone and scales were not something that were in most household.
The first world war ending was the beginning of the end for women body image.
I guess this war triggered so much world wide that we do not think of this change in the women’s life.
Women starting wearing trousers, realising they were strong and developing the boyish features of short hair and with this becoming more athletics and slimmer looking…hence starting needed to look after their weight much more.
Modern modelling also starting during this decade and the idea of a slim body just kept increasing in everyone’s mind.
Coco Chanel is a perfect example of the decade. Strong female image, really skinny and loving her independence and her cigarettes.
The most popular diets, why so many?
Well it will not be easy to give a very restrictive list and I will not go into to much details of them just a quick summary just to help realising how many are out there.
Atkins diet - low carb and high protein
Intermittent fasting
Keto diet - very low fat high fat diet
Body reset diet - low calory diet
Weight Watchers - Allocating points to food and only allowed a certain amount of points
Paleo diet - where you revert to food that was eaten by ancestors centuries ago
The zone diet - 40 percent carbs, 30 percent protein, and 30 percent fat
Blood type diet - You only eat what is allowed for your blood type and can never eat someone else food for different diet types.
And the most extreme ones
Slim fast diet - Drink based
Master cleanse: This is a liquid-only diet that consists of drinking nothing except lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup.
Those are just a few that I personally tried over the years, some that I have friends or family try themselves.
Why so many diets…well because people are different and at different times of their lives…obviously
Why diets do not work
Simple answer….diet should not be a short solution but a change of the way you live and that why diets do not work.
You stop eating some food - carb - fat - solid food…for a few days, a few weeks or even a few months but the moment you start eating the food you stop eating then you are back at putting weight.
It also depends on your body type, your mind set, your age, your gender and once again the list keep adding up.
We are torturing ourself to become a “better” self because we want to be like someone else instead of acknowledging that we are different.
We can go to extreme and decease such as bulimia or anorexia can invade our body and minds.
Do not get me wrong, yes it is important to be healthy and eat proper food in a correct amount but life is difficult and modern life is making that our choice can be more difficult that we want.
Sugary items are with us daily instead of occasionally and the temptations are present all the time, the exception becomes the norm and the new diet fails and we feel worst about oneself.
We also compare our lives to other people’s life that have nothing to do with us. Celebrities and influencers lives are covered all over social media.
The new 50 is to look like J-Lo and good for her she is beautiful and this is one example but in the end she has personal trainers, cooks and does not have to clean her house by herself and can concentrate on herself.
The regular salary people have to deal with working, cleaning, cooking, raising children…and try to eat well and exercise to look the best because now being 50 does not mean looking like the Golden girls anymore.
This add up to the stress of dieting.
When does it all go wrong…
Let’s forget about early childhood and start at early adulthood and teenagers because this is where all goes wrong.
Everyone is changing, hormones are kicking in and all the sudden the actual body that will be with you for the rest of your life is showing up.
Girls starting to have curves that they are not used to but the thing is that each girl changes at a different rate and that is why it is so hard to look at others.
Some are larger breast…so why don’t I have those and the one with the larger breast wondering why she has to wear a bra for exercising when no one else has…and the circle goes on and on.
Short, tall, bigger feet, nails not as long, eyelashes too short, hair too curly, too thin, too straight….once again I can keep going for ever.
Why do we have to compare ourselves to the others? Why can we not be grateful for our body working, well that is way too hard for teenagers but it is also hard when you get older as what you used to be like is gone and cannot be gained back.
After all, this, it is not easy to accept oneself for who we are, we are competing with ourself even more than we the others. There is a sentence in a movie I was watching lately which triggered this blog and the sentence was “The worst thing we can do to ourself is compare ourselves to our old self” and this is so true.
People refuse to get older, the mid-life crisis is a typical example.
Women look at themselves after giving birth and want to be the same but the body can never be the same.
So many factors are in play in life.
When can we just be at peace with who we are as long as we are healthy and accept the different times and bodies of our lives?
Is it even an option to ignore the look of others and the look that you give yourself?
I think one way is to get naked and look at yourself and be happy for being healthy and alive and not to answer to anyone for just being happy and grateful for your life and your body..
This blog I am afraid does not really have a conclusion, it is one of those subject that triggers me but I do not have a real answer for anyone.
So stay strong and be proud of who you are at each period of your life.
